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February 24, 2007
Good News for Public Libraries: Another Government Committee is Created
In addition to the present number of committees the government has to run the public library service:
DCMS- The Department of Common Sense
DLA (Delay) - The Department of Libraries and Archives
SCL- The Society for Closing libraries
SYRUP - The professional association of librarians
- The Knitting Agency
87 Regional branches of the DLA (the further Delays)
DCLG -The Department for Confusing Local Government
LLDA (Long lunches defer afternoons)
The new committee will be called
ACL- the Association for Closing Libraries- and it will have a Scientific Focus
DLA is operated by a packet of biscuits and cream cakes; the ACL will be run by small furry animals, lambs, sheep, teddy bears, rats etc. Miss Bo Peep OBE will preside over it, for sure. The appointments also include Lady Cheese and Tomato Sandwich FBI, CIA, KGB, OTT. Otherwise the new committee will have on it more or less the same people as all the other committees which all include Mr Garry Baldy who has to have many hats, because he is on so many committees.
Now that Mr Elgar Atkins is blogging from a higher place(ElgarAtkins@Heaven.com) he has revealed that Mr Blair will shortly resign from his job as Prime Minister because of the state of the public library service and Mr Grimsdyke, who is still living under the pier at Bloggington on Sea has been forced to sell his home and his children in order to buy sprats for Perkins the library cat.
The Bishop of Slough is not on any committee so far, which is very disappointing for him, but he has called for another one to be invented for him to be on.
I re-read this entry this morning and realised that newcomers to the site might not know that all these committees are real ones and all these people are also actual persons who participate in one way or another in what they choose to call managing our public libraries. Their names have been changed on this blog, but not their ridiculous behaviour.
Even Perkins the library cat is real- although the whelk stall in front of which he sits hopefully most days on the harbourside at Bloggington was invented by Susan Hill. And I'm afraid it is true that Elgar Atkins, who on this blog is known as the author of "Naval manoeuvres in Bloggington Bay in the reign of Queen Anne in 26 volumes" is now in Heaven. Regular readers of the blog will know that volumes 12-14 of the 26 volume set in Bloggington library were removed (somewhere) to allow Perkins a place to sleep over the library radiator.
Posted by Perkins at February 24, 2007 11:49 AM