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August 17, 2006
Despair in Bloggington
Dear Mr Grimsdyke
Thank for all your letters from Dumchurch, I cannot say it sounds a very interesting or attractive city, and it is hard to understand why you keep writing letters about matters we perfectly well understand. We are much more concerned to hear news of Perkins, or that you will both be coming home safely, soon.
We have dreadful news. DLA (Delay: the Department of Libraries and Archives) has selected Bloggington on Sea for the site of one its regional cake filling and library book labelling factories. This is to be an enormous industrial enterprise employing 1,000 council officers. Mr Chocolate Profiterole himself is the be chief executive and Miss Cherry Slice will be executive chief. I think it is a demotion for both of them to which they have not taken kindly.
In order to fund it all the town libraries are to be closed down except for our dearly beloved Carnegie library on the harbour front. Even in there 2 out of each 3 books will be removed from the entire collection. The council are concerned that there be no discrimination in the selection, so the removal is to be done at midnight with the lights out by a blind man. In other words even our wondrous 'History of Naval manoeuvres in Bloggingon Bay during the reign of Queen Anne' by Mr Elgar Atkins will be reduced to just volumes 3,6,9,15 and 18 (Of course volumes 12,13,14 have been missing a long time to allow Perkins a comfortable place to sleep)
We are putting out a desperate cry for relief and "Save the libraries of Bloggington" Posters are going up all over the town, especially on the front windscren of the Mayor's Ferrari
Please help us - you old fool
Your affectionate Mrs Sideloader and Ron
PS A strawberry milkshake, with ice cream, awaits you, if Pedro's Ice Cream parlour survives these horrors.
Posted by Tim Coates at August 17, 2006 9:57 AM
Comments
Ahhhh, perhaps Mr. Grimsdyke will be in need of a campari and soda when he returns home from "down in the Dumpschurch". A little diversion from his usual strawberry milk shake with ice-cream?
What of Perkins? I suspect he is rather library sick. A treat of skate nobs is recommended.
Posted by: Margo Harker at August 17, 2006 7:41 PM