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August 15, 2006
A biscuit speaks
DLA, (pronounced Delay) the Department of Libraries and Archives held its end of term prizegiving yesterday long after all the other schools had gone on holiday.
Mr Woolly Jumper, the headmaster, is already on the beach in the war torn north London Borough of Libraria. Mr Jumper appears to have taken his cricket bat with him, dead or alive and Miss Bo Peep OBE of the Knitting agency was not to be seen. However the head of gym Mr Custard Cream OBE was only too pleased to stand in his place and make yet another of his famous speeches.
He congratulated the school on the achievement of its object of removing all the books from libraries everywhere. Nevertheless he sounded a note of caution by reminding children that while good efforts were being made to fill the empty shelves with cream cakes and chocolate biscuits, he noted in some places the habit of tasting the cakes meant that as many as 40% were not being displayed.
In a large number of cases the cakes were half eaten or worse.
These remarks caused some surprise among the librarians from the Great City of Glum, where until recently Mr Custard Cream was himself the chief librarian. Everyone knows that the libraries of Glum have not had any books for a long time, but reports have also revealed that the practice of eating the cakes before displaying them, in Glum, has reached such a level that all that is left are a few crumbs and no comfort
Mr Custard Cream was speaking on the 'Yesterday' programme. He went on to present the prizes including a large brown envelope to the firm of Consultants who had fixed up the whole thing.
Mr Chocolate Profiterole and Miss Cherry Slice were on the podium with Mr Cream OBE who also announced the opening of ten regional cake cream filling factories, in the regions.
Posted by Perkins at August 15, 2006 10:07 AM